Tonight I had the best date ever. Since I put my needs over his.
He (Maga, 31) contacted me through Bumble. His pictures show a beautiful, skinny guy from Cape Town. Beautiful short rasta curls. Gorgeous lips.
He texts me and says he is in the car and wants to drive by to say HI. It is 11 pm. I told him it was not possible because my daughter lives with me. He insisted. To come by and say HI, nothing else.
He shares his live location. So when he is near, I walk the dogs and meet him at the end/beginning of my gang.
He gets out of the car, looks at me, hugs and kisses me, and tells me: ‘I don’t want you to look for another guy ever again; I want to make you happy.’
I always admire myself for keeping a straight face when I hear BS like that.
We sit in the car and fool around. At least he did with me. This was fun.
The next day he texts me. He is charming.
The day after, he video calls me from his friend’s house. I even get to talk to the friend. He is more my type. A bit fuller. I don’t fall for skinny guys. I love a teddy bear kinda guy.
I tell Maga I am going to the Comedy Lab this evening. And ask him to join me.
I tell him it starts at 6, and he tells me he will pick me up at 7. Really?
But after talking for a while, he gets it. It is clear to him that I want to be there at 5.45, so he agrees to pick me up at 5.30. He promises, at least five times, to be on time.
‘You don’t trust me??’
Well, as a matter of effect, I don’t, but I am willing to give your gorgeous ass the benefit of the doubt.
I kept my nerves down by drinking a few shots of Arak and smoking about half a pack of cigarettes the one hour before he arrives. Because, of course, he is 45 minutes late, the Comedy Lab has already started.
I intend not to break the mood since everything happens for a reason and just to be happy to see him.
Driving off, he tells me he has to go to his brother’s house to pick up some money and buy him electricity. But he will bring me to the Comedy Lab first, do his thing and come to join me.
Really?? I told him I wanted to take a GoCar (taxi), but he insisted on picking me up at my house.
I am not walking into a comedy show one hour late by myself. First, it is extremely rude, and second, it is a comedy show, which means I will be roasted. No doubt.
I tell him we will do his stuff, and after that, we will go to the Comedy Lab; together if there still is time.
The music in the car is loud. And not very romantic. But I love that he sings along.
He asks me for a cigarette. I tell him no because I hate smoking in the car.
He also makes it very clear he has no money as he keeps asking if I have the money for drinks. I tell him; I am not going there to drink. I am going there for the show. But sure, he can have a drink.
After picking up the money, he gets into the car, smoking.
He asks me: where next? And he suggests going for drinks and then to his villa. Which is in Ubud, so 45 minutes from my house.
My inner voice tells me to tell him to take me home.
I open my mouth to say that, and his phone rings.
After his call, I tell him I know an excellent place for drinks.
We are 100 meters away from Tropical Nomad. I love that place. I also know; they only serve coffee.
He is very disappointed not to get alcohol.
We sit down. It is such a romantic setting there. Outside, little open cabins with romantic lighting and couches. Beautiful garden.
He asks me if everything is okay. And I tell him to drink his coffee, eat his cookie, and go. I will take a GoCar home.
He is upset. He tells me all kinds of excuses for being late. And how he does not want to send me by GoCar to the Comedy Lab or home because he wants to take care of me. His goal is to make me happy.
‘Well, you make me happy by leaving.’
I order my GoCar.
He cannot believe this is happening. But finally, he decides to leave.
When my GoCar is close by, I walk outside and see him there, sitting in his car. He drives up next to me. Pleading me for permission to take me home.
‘No.’
The GoCar driver is a lovely man and speaks good English. We talk. And I tell him what had happened. He laughs and apologizes for it. I tell him it is okay to laugh because it is funny. And I am happy; my date is not.
He showed me he could not be trusted. He obviously is a freewheeler. And he sees things utterly opposite as I do.
But I was curious. And he was gorgeous.
So, I told myself to let it go.
However, when my inner being told me to go home, I listened.
And I did it the smart way. Because, first, I had to get out of that car, where he was in control.
During the talk, that made clear it was over for me; I wondered a few times if he would get aggressive by the look in his eyes. But, thank God we were in a public place, so I was safe, no matter what. And I was sure I would never go back into that car again.
Waiting for my driver, I blocked him on WA and disconnected us on Bumble. Yes, he knows where I live, but I don’t believe him to be so dangerous he would come there.
I am so proud of myself.
For listening to my inner voice and not feeling any regret. Or guilty for his feelings. Or shame. No what-ifs at all.
I may finally get rid of the Being a Good Catholic Girl Syndrome.
How is your Catholic girl doing?
Bali, 2020 February 9