Month: May 2023

To me, this is a day about being grateful that my kids have chosen me as their mother. 

I am honored to be a mom of three. And that they are all three still in my life. We are in good relations with each other, all four of us. 

I hear many stories about kids no longer being in contact with one or both parents. Also, dads and sometimes even moms who are not talking to their kids anymore for whatever reason.

That is so sad.

And something I cannot imagine. 

I love my kids. They are unique human beings. All three are very different in looks, character, and even beliefs. 

I find them interesting and want to learn from them. They have a fresh way of looking at the world. I love their ideas, way of thinking, and creativity.

My youngest asked me one day for a school project: what is love to you?

I replied with a question: love for what? 

• I love my cats. Meaning I feed them, clean their litter boxes, and cuddle them.
• I love my bed. So I make it every morning and spend as much time in it as possible.
• I love my partner. So I want to spend time with him, take care of him, and give him the better half of the food I cook, even if it is my favorite.
• I love my kids unconditionally. So I respect their choices even if I sometimes (or maybe even often) do not understand them; I will always be there for them no matter what.

She asked me: what if I would kill someone?
Me: I would still love you and be there for you.
Her: You are crazy.

It is a cliche but so true: 
One cannot understand a parent’s love until one holds their firstborn.

So Mother’s Day to me is not about receiving flowers or candy. 

My kids love me 365 days a year, and they show it by talking to, being with, and respecting me. They help me, educate me. Share their thoughts and ideas with me. 

This makes me super grateful.

If Mother’s Day does anything to me, it makes me miss my Mom even more. She was my best friend. I often say: I hope I am not as important to my kids as my Mom is to me because that frightens me.

Motherhood is a gift, not a given.
Having a mother is also a gift, not a given.

I treasure it.

I wish you do too. 

And if, for whatever reason, you are not in contact with your Mom or child, this is an excellent day to reflect on that and ask yourself if it is worth it.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand that sometimes it is. But mostly, I hear trivial stories. 

Know that once they are gone, there is nothing you can do about the situation anymore. Nobody knows what tomorrow brings or if tomorrow even comes.

So you should take action today. Pick up that phone. Write that message. Send flowers or candy. Anything. 

Just take a step.

I strongly believe in effortlessness. Meaning: The Universe will always have my back. I will always be where I need to be. I will always have what I need, including money.

Therefore when I was in Bali in February 2019 to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and my heart told me I had to move to Bali, I did.

When I was in The Netherlands two years later to take care of my mom, I did not want to be there but knew I would be happy later if I stayed. So I did, and I am so grateful for our last months together.

While waiting for an opportunity to return to Bali after taking care of the funeral and selling the house, my inner voice told me to do the waiting in Spain.

We did.

We had a fantastic one-month road trip, me and my three kids. I was in awe of Spain. And it was an excellent opportunity for the four of us to adjust to being around each other again.

Since there was still no window to go to Bali, we decided to make a tour through Africa after the Spain adventure.

My whole system was excited, body, mind, and soul. The trip would be out of this world. The thought of seeing the big four, going on a helicopter ride, and the amazing glamping still excites me.

I wanted to pay for this tour, but something stopped me.

The next day there is an opportunity to go to Bali.

So we did.

To find a changed Bali.

The main reason to go back to Bail was because of my youngest daughter’s school. She loved that school. My other two have had it rough in Middle and High School. So I wanted at least one child to have happy memories of that time.

The school had moved to a new building in a different area. It is beautiful, but the whole vibe the old school had, is gone. So are many students as their parents decided to move back to their home country during the plandamic.

So had many of my friends.

The prices of land and properties rocketed. Thanks to the Russians who, for some reason, love to overpay. A concept I, as a Dutchie, will never be able to grasp.

The rules are stricter, so I cannot do any work here.

My financial situation is on the edge of being either a smashing success or an epic fail.

I thought I had found love, but I did not.

My daughter no longer attends school but does the school work at home.

This makes me wonder: why the hell am I here??

But if not here? Then where?

I miss my friends and family in the Netherlands. But the only item I am sure about now is that I do not want to move back there.

The kids are talking about moving to Spain.

Are you kidding me? I finally speak basic Bahasa Indonesia, and now you want me to learn Spanish? And have you all forgotten what a nightmare food is for a vegan in Spain? And how cold it has been?

Making a road trip is quite different than living in that country.

And it took me a year to get my stuff to Bali, and now we have to move overseas again?

Two of my son’s friends are moving to Bali in a few weeks.

They would live in my house, the three of them together, and I would find a new place for me and my daughter.

But as I said: prices are sky-high, and I have no idea about my finances.

After staying here for six months or a year, they want to move to Spain. Together. So also my son.

I have no idea what will happen. But I do know that I still feel happy and relaxed. It will all work out fine. It is already okay. And I am very curious about how this journey will unfold.

Trusting the Universe makes it very easy for me to adapt. And that is what I will do.

One step at a time.

And my first step right now is going to the beauty salon for a cream bath for my hair, a lovely dinner, and some good laughs at the Comedy Club.

Life is good.

How can it become any better than this?

Well, I did it all, and as a bonus, I went to Carmen’s Wine Bar to dance to some great music.

Once upon a time, a young man named Aman lived in the desert of a faraway country. Aman was born and raised in a Muslim family, and his beliefs and values were deeply rooted in his culture.

One day, while at a coffee shop on the beautiful Island of Bali, he saw a woman, many years beyond his, sitting alone at a table. Her name was Leila, and she was from a family not believing in a God but in the power of the Universe. She was born and raised in a city in Europe.

They started talking and soon realized they had an instant connection. It felt as if they had known each other for a long time. Maybe even beyond this lifetime.

Aman and Leila started seeing each other frequently and soon fell in love. They were both aware of their contrasts: culturally, religiously, beliefs, and especially their age.

But their love for each other transcended all boundaries and numbers. They respected each other. They taught and learned a lot from each other’s variances. They felt like they belonged together, and nothing could come between them.

Despite their love for each other, Aman and Leila faced challenges. They both knew that his family would disapprove of their relationship. And communication sometimes was difficult since they both had to use a language that was not their mother tongue. In addition, she was a vegan, and he was not. However, they were determined to make it work.

Every time they met, they felt like they were in their own world. They were happy together, and their love grew stronger with each passing day. They talked about their dreams and plans for the future and knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. So he named her his lovely wife, and to her, he was her handsome husband.

However, one day, Aman and Leila realized their love was also causing much pain and heartache until they knew they had to let each other go, even though it broke their hearts.

They both decided to end their relationship, hoping time would heal their wounds.

Years passed, and Aman and Leila moved on with their lives. They had both found happiness, but they never forgot the love that they had shared. They both realized their love was unique and a connection beyond worldly boundaries. They knew their love would always be a part of them, guiding them throughout their lives. Therefore their thoughts of each other were always filled with love and gratitude.

Life does not always give what you want but always gives what you need.

Unfortunately, sometimes that also means you must set someone free if you genuinely love them.